What is Relationships Coaching ?

In technical terms my work around relationships and dating is not coaching but  a combination of therapy and coaching. My coaching style is the combination of both based on the clients needs. Let me explain this in more detail to avoid any confusion.

Coaching approaches are usually categorised into three paradigms: goal-focused, developmental, and therapeutic.  In terms of Relationship Coaching, goal-focused coaching is a practice works with the client in the now and in the future and seeks to help clients determine and achieve relationship or dating goals.

Therapeutic Coaching is a model of coaching that allows the client to experience all of the above and release and/or transform the past. In addition, the client can change and transform any problem, unwanted feelings or behaviours. Within this model, the Therapeutic Coach is able to investigate clients challenges and facilitate the release, transformation and change of the challenges into resources and accomplish the desired behaviour in any or all areas of their lives. The Therapeutic Coach focuses on transformation at the deepest level, and this coach is skilled in the the fields of motivation and change.

Through my work with singles as well as couples, I have noticed a common pattern in each client and that is, every current problem is rooted in a past event. Unless the root of the problem is cleared the same problem will repeated itself in different times, situations and people. Hence when it comes to relationships, using only goal-oriented coaching style rarely creates long lasting results.

Couples Coaching

 Couples coaching sessions structured to identify the core issues and the needs of the 3 dynamics of the relationship. Your side, your partners side and the relationship itself. Healthy and fulfilling relationships where these 3 dynamics are in balance and harmony. Individually stand alone yet great team players knowing that they are in the same team.

There are many reasons a couple can seek relationship coaching. One of the main one is unmet needs and this can show up as but not limited to :

– Infidelity, lack of trust

– Lack of intimacy

– Emotional disconnection

– Blame, criticism and contempt

– Conflict and  arguments

– Felling trapped

– Sense of not being heard, respected

In our coaching sessions we will identify the needs of the 3 dynamics of the relationship, from that place we will uncover values, behavioural patterns, obstacles, emotions and thought processes that bring out the best in you and your relationships.

Our work may require to revisit some past emotions or wounds but we are always going to be focusing on your relationship vision and common long term goals as a couple.

My role is to offer a neutral and objective reflection for what is happening between you both. I am here to help you understand what is happening on a deeper level, both as individuals and as a couple. It is often easier to see the dynamics from the outside when we aren’t emotionally invested or caught up the same way we are within our relationship. I can help you see and understand why you are stuck in certain patterns, how to shift them and get you to a place where you can both feel seen, heard, respected, valued and significant in the relationship. It does take the effort and willingness from all parties as it is a collaboration between the three of us. I’m here to listen and help guide you back to what first drew you to your partner as well as how you can both evolve from this point forward.

Please note you can either attend the sessions together with your partner or on your own. It is preferable if you can attend together to create a deeper connection between the two of you. Vulnerability, honesty and compassion required for the deeper work builds a powerful emotional intimacy between partners.

Singles  Coaching / Conscious Dating Coaching 

I don’t refer myself a dating coach and it is because I am not a dating coach in the traditional sense. I will not advise you on what to wear, what to say or what to text and it is because these type of advise will not help you to create (attract) a deep and meaningful relationship. These type of advise are coming from a place lack which causes stress, a lot of confusion and a feeling of not being enough as you are.

If you are looking ways to make someone fall in love with you with one text message or words to make him marry you I’m not your coach. If you are looking for a coach who will help you to fall in love with yourself and move you from a place of lack to a place of abundance in every sense then I’m your coach!

This wonderful Rumi quote describes the core of my coaching practice and how I work with my clients: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” 

Conscious dating is not about seeking the ideal partner or finding “The One” . Conscious dating it is becoming that ideal partner you are seeking.